Nov. 30, 2011

Sens v. Jets recap (non-drunken) & Boschman Beauties' Bobby Ryan "sweepstakes" take

The Sens came away with an enormous two points last night after a wild ass game that saw goals from four different Sens players. The entire game was extremely fast-paced, which shouldn't surprise many people considering the youth movement underway from both teams.

"Finish him"

The Sens opened the scoring with a nice snipe from Michalek, and ended the first period with a 1-0 lead. At this point, it looked like a snoozefest, and everyone was thinking "why didn't I bet the under??" However, Bryan Little not only got the Jets back into the game with his goal midway through the second, but also opened the figurative goal floodgates. It was truly a crazy one after that, with both teams alternating the lead multiple times, and the Jets held a 4-3 lead with ten minutes to go.

But once again, as they seem to do these days, the Sens dominated the third period. Spezza scored a beauty after an amazing passing play from Phillips (yeah, Phillips) and Karlsson. 4-4, and the Sens never looked back. Inspired by his teammates, Colin Greening skated out half the ice to beat out two Jets defencemen, only to be viciously shoved from behind into the net. It was a play that Denis Savard referred to as "pure gutsy" but I thought it was "pure shit" from Oduya or whoever. Dangerous play. YOU WON'T LIKE GREENING WHEN HE'S ANGRY!

Greening's brother Zack Smith took exception to the hit on the ensuing powerplay, scoring his second goal of the game and propelling the mighty Senators to a 5-4 lead. Empty net, and this one's over.

There were a fair amount of minor injuries in this game, with both Filatov and Kuba leaving the game and not returning. Every Jets fan was complaining about Zack Smith's first goal, which happened after Pavelec had seemingly covered up the puck, but the refs didn't blow, or even intend to blow, the whistle. To those complainers, I offer the following rebuttal (or reBUTLER);


Alright, here's the situation. Rumours dictate that the guy who was drafted directly after Sidney Crosby has become available for trade. He's only 24 and has scored at least 30 goals in every season that he has played, good enough reason for the Ducks to trade him.

So let's take a look at what the Sens would have to offer;

You gotta think that the Ducks have a huge need for defence, leading us to consider a few D prospects from the Sens' system.

Jared Cowen: The Ducks would jump all over this shut-down monster as part of a package deal, but they would likely point to his small level of NHL experience to drive a hard bargain. Besides, YOU CAN'T TEACH SIZE.

David Rundblad: We gave up Tarasenko to get this guy, so you gotta know that Sens management is high on his skillz. However, we do have a similar player in Karlsson, and when contract time comes around, what percentage of our cap room are we really gonna have for puck-moving D-guys?

Mark Borocop: Wouldn't play well anywhere other than Ottawa, so Anaheim doesn't want him.

Patrick Weirdcock: I've heard about this guy for like 7 years but have yet to recall him shooting a puck or making a pass or any other basic play.

Alright, so considering Karlsson is untouchable (not in Alfie's bedroom) and Anaheim is not stupid (Kuba, Phillips are out) that leaves us with the above options on D.

What about forwards?

Da Costa: He's on coach Maclean's shitlist right now, and I could definitely see him getting moved, but he would be a small piece of what would have to be a big package going back to Anaheim.

Butler: Do we wanna trade in a Bobby for a new, supposedly improved Bobby? Who are we, Whitney Houston?!?! Why doesn't anybody make fun of that lady anymore? But nah, Anaheim isn't doing this.

ALFREDSSON: Dare I say it??? The Ducks need a superhuman superhero right now, and I can think of no better fit to that description than my man Daniel.

So what's it gonna take here? Here's my ultimate dream scenario:

- Alfie (sorry, but I would in this case)
- Da Costa
- Cowen
- 2nd rounder


B. Ryan
1st rounder

Anaheim drops to last place in the league, we steal off into the night with the number one overall pick.

Eugene Melnyk read this and gimme a call for the GM position, will ya?

Adam, plz edit this in terms of formatting, will ya?


  1. hahaha you sure that was a sober post? I like the pipe dreams though.

    But a dose of reality: I don't see any team parting with any player of value for Da Costa (aka Shrunken Monkey Head), let alone as a major part of a package for Bobby Ryan.

  2. Haha, true enough. Ok, maybe throw Zibanerjards in there and call it a deal.

    B-Beauties Xclusif video:

    (Seriously, we took that vid.)